A Dating Fast

"You should go on a dating fast. For a year."

My initial reaction when my very lovely friend Ms. Haley brought it up was "Ew. No. That sounds hard. Haley, are you trying to ruin my life?"

Ignore for a moment that I've never knowingly dated anyone (I've accidentally, without my knowledge, dated people, but never knowingly.)

I was on an unintentional dating fast for the first 15ish years of my life. Then I bought into it. 

I bought into society's view of what love is. I bought into the stories society tells me - that love is holding hands, having someone who belongs to you, someone to prove that you're not alone.

I felt alone for a long time. I daydreamed about not being alone for a long time. Sometimes  I still do. FOCUS covered it excellently in this blog post, but basically, for people who are dating, a dating relationship can become something they just have to have. But for those of us who are not dating, this fact can turn into something that we just obsess about. It's not freedom.

I want to be free. I'm tired of feeling inadequate. So I'm going to stop.

Hence: Dating Fast.

What is a dating fast? 
It sounds sort of like speed dating, but reversed, right? What it is exactly is this:

A dating fast is to give up dating for an extended period of time. In my case, that is 120 days. I am going to fast for three months from romantic relationships. That means no dating, no flirting, no mentally stalking or daydreaming about the current man who has caught my attention. No more pinning wedding stuff onto my Wedding Board on Pinterest. 

Right now, I actually don't like anyone. I'm not romantically interested in anyone - not even my Bridegroom and I think that that's a problem. I also see it as an opportunity.

For me, this isn't so much a fast from actually dating as a fast from mentally dating.

From July 19th 2013 to October 16th 2013, 120 days, I will fast.

I researched this thoroughly before deciding to do this. I prayed about it, too. This is what is right.

I'm not rushing into this. 

I want to learn that true love comes from God and God alone.

I want to practice patience. Patience isn't my strong suit, but trusting that everything occurs according to God's plan is something I need to learn.

I want to find strength within myself and through God and stop leaning on other people. I want to learn how to be alone. I want to practice sacrifice and fasting. I want to live in the moment. I want to learn more about myself. I want to learn how to use my head alongside my heart. I want to learn how to serve others before myself. I want to learn how to forgive - others as well as myself. I want to learn how to accept God's forgiveness. I want to learn, through friendship, more about myself and more about God. I want to learn how to surrender to God's will. I want to remember my childhood joy and use that as a reflection of my desires for the future. I want to learn commitment now so that I will be able to commit later on down the road. I want to learn how to take pleasure from life. I want to learn how to heal and how to grow from my past. 

I want to learn how to be pure. 

I want to learn about the plan God has for me.

and above all,

I want to learn how to follow my dreams and how to follow God's will.

I want to be a better person. Right now, I'm not someone that I particularly like. I used to enjoy my own company, but I don't anymore.

I want to be able to find my trust, my comfort, my love in Him, not anyone else.

I am committing fully to this. This is a commitment that I will actually stick to.

If you could pray for me, that would be really, really, really awesome.

References:
I'm using the book "The Dating Fast" by Katherine Becker. It's a book designed for a 40 day fast, but I'm going to cycle through the book three times. Hence, 120 days. There also was a FOCUS article but the link is temporarily broken.